The attachment of ex-lover

What is so special about us finding it difficult to let go of our ex's  even after many years or months of separation.                 
  In relationships many things happen but we seems to forget easily variosus   events that  took place once the relationship crashed, some ex's are so unique that you cannot  have a perfect replacement for them, while some are terrible that you will be thanking Jehovah that they are gone, this prompted me to write about how you  can break the attachment to your ex-lover  and feel loved again.Your attachment to your ex for a strong emotional " you are attached to your ex" but don't understand why? You are  having difficulty letting go of your relationship because your ex provided you with stability and comfort? After the dust has settled you begin to see things in a new perspective that your love for your ex blinded you from. So how do you break your emotional dependency on your ex?

 Firstly you must understand  you are dependent on your ex in the first place.  Often you become dependant on your ex to fill a void in your life that was mostly created during childhood. You allowed other people to define your self worth. When you met your former lover, they probably made you actually begin to feel worthy of receiving love probably for the first time in your life you started to feel like you were valuable and appreciated,  we become dependant on our lover based on the emotional needs thaf they fulfilled. We rely on our partner to provide us those "Feel-good" feelings. Slowlly, over time,  we make then totally responsible for giving us the attention that we crave, they provide us with feelings of love and approval, they make us fell worthy and safe. However, when the relationship sours, the attention stops and our self worth starts to diminish.it was unfair of us to make then responsible for how we felt every moment of everyday. This is why most relationship end in a "lose-lose"situation, when you are ready to let go of those unusual feeling of insecure,  these are the major actions you can start to take today to break your emotional dependency on your ex. 

Learn how to be responsible for your own emotion. You are the only one who has control over how you feel at any particular moment, you have to realized no one can make you happy or sad, take control of your entire emotional system now or you will continue to be slave to it for the rest of your life.  Secondly learn what your emotional needs are, learn how to give yourself what you expected your Ex to give you instead. Give yourself attention and love don't wait for your Ex, you will feel fulfilled when you provided yourself with things that you think you are lacking. 

Finally define your own self worth and don't let other people dictate what your worth is no matter how much you love them. Attach much value to yourself never let anyone undermine yourself worth. Don't isolate yourself, attended functions, relate with people and feel free to share your worries with friends and give your self a relationship break of at least three months before jumping into another one, this time you should have know yourself worth and never give room for new lover to control what you feel about yourself,  you are not a doormat, so stop acting like one.  Do what you can each day eventually you will cut through that rope that ties you to your Ex emotional slavery like a chainsaw. 

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